I like that she approaches her subjects with the emphasis on observation, and is not an 'expert' who claims to have all the answers. At the end of You just don't understand which is geared towards relationships, she makes the point that people can change their conversational styles, but people usually want the other gender to change their's not change their own. So sensitivity training tries to get men to talk more like women, and assertiveness training gets women to talk more like men. Her observation is that the most useful progress can be made in 'interpreting' other people's style, without the judgement that the style is 'wrong' because it isn't your own.
Deborah Tannen observations
I like that she approaches her subjects with the emphasis on observation, and is not an 'expert' who claims to have all the answers. At the end of You just don't understand which is geared towards relationships, she makes the point that people can change their conversational styles, but people usually want the other gender to change their's not change their own. So sensitivity training tries to get men to talk more like women, and assertiveness training gets women to talk more like men. Her observation is that the most useful progress can be made in 'interpreting' other people's style, without the judgement that the style is 'wrong' because it isn't your own.
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